The best part is that half of the players clearly don't know the words...

This year's Six Nations tournament is into its second weekend, so obviously I've been glued to the TV. Even though the rugby itself has been great so far (France vs Ireland this afternoon was a cracking match), one of the bits that I enjoy most has got to be the national anthems before kickoff.

Singing national anthems is second nature to our cousins across the pond - indeed, any readers or casual surfers coming across this post from the States might find it difficult to understand why it's anything at all special, given that they have their anthem before every single baseball game, every single American football game, at the beginning of school each day, and pretty much any time they can shoehorn it into the proceedings. For us dour Europeans, who don't have quite the same wide-eyed idealism about our countries as do the Americans, singing the anthem is a comparatively rare activity. So we really make it count.

For those unfamiliar with the Six Nations, it's contested between the Home Nations (England, Scotland and Wales), Ireland, France and Italy. Each team has its own unique anthem - or in the case of those greedy Irish, two anthems - and we'll look at each in turn (and in no particular order) to see how they could be improved.

Wales: Land of my Fathers

Although technically Wales is the land of at least some of my ancestors, I've never felt any great connection to it. I have to say, though, that this is one heck of an anthem. It builds nicely through the verse, hitting a fantastic climax (go to the one-minute mark...now everyone join in. Gwlaaaaaaaaaad.....GWLAAAAAAAAAAD!) and has just enough swagger to allow some fist-pumping.

The downside is that, because it's written in Welsh, the words mean absolutely nothing to me. (I have the sneaking suspicion that they don't mean anything full stop, actually.) Wikipedia assures me that it recounts the actions of brave patriots who fought for their country, but given that the last line of the chorus apparently translates to "O may the old language endure", I'm not sure it makes much sense. Sounds more like a song about a really fired-up Welsh teacher making sure that no-one gets their "ll" sound mixed up with their "ch" sound. Good tune - words could be better.

Scotland: Flower of Scotland

The fact that the Scottish don't actually have an official national anthem doesn't stop them from belting out Flower of Scotland as loudly as they possibly can. The lyrics are much more stirring than those for Land of my Fathers (probably), and manage to sum up the general Scottish national character very succinctly - burning and ceaseless hatred of the English. The entire song is about the Battle of Bannockburn, which took place in 1314. One might suggest that a national anthem is an ideal opportunity to celebrate the good times in your nation's history; given that Flower of Scotland appears to suggest that Scotland's peak of civilisation was almost 700 years ago, I find it something of an odd choice.

That said, the tune's all right. Getting the bagpipes in was a good choice, and you can successfully both march and sway along with the rhythm. Overall, it gives a good impression of a battle hymn, but that doesn't prevent it from also being just a little bit dull.

England: God Save The Queen

Oh dear. In the words of the wonderful Bill Bailey, "God save the Queen? Why should we invoke a [air quotes] 'non-specific' deity to bail out these unelected sponges?"

To be fair to the England team, they're making the best of a bad job here. Lawrence Dallaglio does at least put some effort into it (fourth from the left). The problem is that God Save the Queen is incredibly difficult to sing with gusto. There's practically no rhythm, the tune is too slow, the chorus comes in on a high note that always catches everyone out...really, I could go on. The worst part is that the lyrics assume that everyone singing (a) believes in God (or a god, at least) and (b) thinks highly enough of the monarchy to ask God to protect them. If you don't believe that (personally, I'm fine with (a) but wobbly at best about (b)) then you're either lying to yourself or you don't care what you're singing. Either way, not a good choice for an anthem.

Could be worse, though. They could have chosen Rule, Britannia!.

France: La Marseillaise

Oh, all right, that isn't the French rugby team. I couldn't find a decent video of the rugby team singing La Marseillaise on Youtube, so you'll have to make do with the football team instead. Not that that will be a problem, as you could get a performing monkey to sing La Marseillaise and it would still sound awesome.

This anthem has the very definition of a stirring tune. It's just the right length, it goes quiet in the middle so you can build up to the final few lines, and even if you have no idea what they're singing, you can still sing along with the "marchons, marchons" bit.

Actually, it's probably better if you don't know what they're singing. Here's the official translation of the first verse and chorus.

Arise you children of our motherland
Oh now is here our glorious day!
Over us the bloodstained banner
Of tyranny holds sway!
Oh, do you hear there in our fields
The roar of those fierce fighting men ?
Who came right here into our midst
To slaughter sons, wives and kin.

To arms, oh citizens!
Form up in serried ranks!
March on, march on!
And drench our fields
With their tainted blood!

...to which the only real response is "errr...want to sit down for a minute?" Seriously, if you've ever seen a more over-the-top national anthem, I'd like to hear about it. The one bright spot is that - most unusually for the French - they aren't singing about slaughtering the English.

Despite the bloodthirsty nature of this anthem, I think it still works better than almost any other I've heard. The words complement the kill-em-all nature of the tune, and just so long as the players don't take it too seriously, it makes for an awe-inspiring way to start a game of rugby.

Ireland: Ireland's Call/Amhrán na bhFiann

Yes, this video is in French. Handily, though, the uploader has put the lyrics on-screen, so you can sing along.

Unfortunately, this won't help you if you're trying to sing Amhrán na bhFiann ("The Soldier's Song"), as it's in Gaelic. The lyrics are apparently slightly militaristic, but not excessively so; it's longish, but not too long; the tune's OK, but nothing special. That pretty much sums up this anthem - it's not bad, but instantly forgettable. It could do with spicing up, frankly.

Or, they could chuck it away altogether and use Ireland's Call instead. The first thing to note about this anthem is that it was specially commissioned for the united rugby team fielded by Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland. That, in itself, is incredible. To get any kind of unity together between two nations whose differences have been so severe that violence has raged for years between them (differences that were admittedly pretty much entirely the fault of the British) is fantastic, and not so long ago would have seemed about as likely as a joint Israeli-Lebanese basketball team. The unity shown in this way is echoed by the anthem, which is one of the most joyful I think I've ever seen.

The lyrics, far from concentrating on battles and war, simply state that the singers are Irish, that they're standing together in unity, and that they're here to do their bit for their country. Even for someone like me, who's not a fan of patriotism in pretty much any form, this is touching and inspirational. The music, too, is great - Celtic music always sounds good, and you can practically dance to this. Oh, and the Irish have clearly been taking lessons from the Welsh and French about singalong bits, except they've made them even easier. All you have to remember is to roar "IREEEEELAND! IREEEEEEEEEELAND!" approximately in tune.

And it has a key change. A key change. When your national anthem could practically win Eurovision, you're onto a winner.

So, have we learnt any lessons from this study of the anthems? Probably not. But hey - the rugby should be good whatever the songs sound like.

UPDATE: Totally forgot about the Italians.
Italy: Il Cantio degli Italiani

Italy are the new boys in the Six Nations, having only been competing since 2000. They've certainly begun to make their mark, though, and got up to 4th place last year. In terms of the anthems, they're also well-represented, with this surprisingly jaunty number. The tune's nothing special, although it does have some good, simple lines in the middle that can easily be thundered by a crowd. More importantly, it's a tune that's very well suited to being played by a brass band, which makes it perfect for sporting events.

The lyrics aren't bad, either, but don't quite fit the music. The first verse starts out well, invoking history, mythology and the entire Roman empire, but then the chorus kicks in. Despite the military connotations, several thousand fans roaring "we are ready to die" doesn't exactly fill you with confidence about the performance of the team. If it was an anthem to be sung at a gladiatorial contest - particularly if it was sung by the gladiators - then maybe it would be OK. Given that no-one is really expecting the rugby team to go out and literally sacrifice themselves, however, it gets a bit lost. So, mainly good, but loses points for some bizarre imagery.